Convention tattoo (revised)

I made a deposit for the convention, but haven’t received a response yet. If not I’ll probably lose the money, quit getting tattoos this year and start saving to teach in another country. This is really about one person like a songwriter has a specific person or people in their mind when they write a song. When we listen we think about the star or our own lives. Since most of what I can do about it is already over for me at this point, I am more trying to remember my mistakes and what good came out of it so I don’t lose myself and the future possibilities. It is such a painful concept a lot of the time and my world is not getting any easier necessarily because of it. How would know what would happen without? I am not looking for anything, but good artwork. I was thinking I was solving problems in the spiritual world because I am being haunted by suicidal presences due to misunderstandings on my blog and other things I think about and when I am visited by a spirit I recognize as someone I know in my actual world I believe I can help them with my faith and talents. My faith now is that tattoos are connected in saving and ridding of spirits similar to the mixes, but I cannot promise or prove anything, nor do I expect an artist to deliver me so to speak.